Blogpost #3: Space

A box is defined as a container with a flat base and sides, typically square or rectangular and having a lid. It is an enclosed space with the inside characterized by darkness, quiet and for me calm.

II was never afraid of the darkness. As a child, the wheels turning my stroller moved quickly, darting back and forth from one place to another as my sisters completed numerous activities. Through this active movement, a blanket covered me completely, engulfing me in darkness as I slept and awoke, slept and awoke. Sleeping with a night light was short-lived. Pleads to my mother to turn the lights off, close my curtains or shut the door remain frequent resulting in my family often refer to me as the vampire. I realized there was comfort in the darkness. Darkness is a vacant and almost boundless entity, full of endless possibilities. Darkness is an important aspect of the appeal within a box, yet silence trumps darkness in how a box provides comfort.

For me, it is as the saying says, “silence is golden.” Speech can often get muddled or twisted, and facial expressions speak loud enough without any words. My ability to withstand silence is astounding. In the mornings when I wake up, it is hard for me to speak and I don’t until some point in the day when I am forced to speak because of an obligatory good morning. I can allow my thoughts to consume me, dreaming of scenarios and creating stories which are always better than talking with others. Silence gives the opportunity to be alone even in a crowd full of people, and as an introvert, this is alluring to me. It is not just closing the door to interactions with other people which draws me into silence but also, the quite selfish and almost delusional notion of the world being separate from me, rather than me needing to be apart of the resounding rush in life. 

So, I find solace in any sort of box. I sit in closets or cabinets, shutting out the sounds of the outside world and interruptions, entangled in a space filled only by my thoughts. Starting with thoughts about myself in the present moment, their imagination takes me through infinite possibilities of the future until they circle back to me. This continuous loop relaxes me into a state of tranquility and I emerge from this space, less irritable, more compassionate towards the situations of others and ready to overcome any adversity. For these reasons, a box holds much importance to me. It is my saving grace on a bad day and my happy place on a good one.